I am supposed to be the Poster Child for weight loss. Have I failed Aaron, you, and myself because I have lost very little weight this year and put some back on? Or am I a success despite the lack of weight loss? Do I deserve to still ask for your support of me? And you, the reader, are you frustrated with me? Are you wondering why I think I have the right to even speak to the subject of losing weight?
I have a lot of nerve. I work at inspiring you, encouraging you, and pulling for your success. I do it selfishly. I admit it. Inspiring you inspires me. So what’s my problem?
Aaron’s program is awesome. Okay, so it’s not the program that has failed me. The truth is I have failed to live the program.
What does that mean? What has held me back from losing weight? I want to answer these questions as honestly as I can. Selfishly because I want to get to cause of what is keeping me from changing my life, getting healthy, and living the life I know I want and deserve.
When I first agreed to follow Aaron’s program, to say I was ecstatic would be an understatement. As soon as I got to know Aaron, and as soon as I picked up and read his book, “The New Diabetes Prescription”, I knew this was a lifestyle that would bring me back to health, help me lose weight, and address the underlying cause of why I binge eat.
As far as I was concerned, this was an opportunity of a lifetime. Full support from Aaron Snyder – a success story to all future former fatties of the world because of how he conquered his demons and overcame his addiction to food, confronting emotions and not succumbing to squashing those emotions down by binge eating – was at my disposal.
The first few months following the program, I did well. I took the self-health questionnaire, determined what promises I was going to begin with, and followed through, succeeding more than twenty-seven out of the thirty days.
I began blogging, which I love, and I feel has tremendously helped me in discovering so much about myself. Blogging has allowed me to speak on behalf of all us dealing with obesity, struggling to lose weight. I pray my blogs have meant something to you, reaching you and proving to you that someone really understands how hard it is to commit to losing weight. I hope I inspire you, and that despite my failure to lose real weight and keep it off, my hope is that you have been able to succeed.
This brings me back to what has been holding me back from losing weight. Why am I still the poster child for Aaron’s program? Well, we all agree there is no fault in the program. Most programs work if we work the programs. The failure lies within me. Mind you, this is not a pity party. I am actually feeling pretty dog-gone good. The problems in my life that usually set me over the edge, driving me toward devouring cookies or chocolate are not so much an issue to me. Nothing has really changed except one thing. Me.
I feel as if I have finally accepted the things I cannot change. Plus, I have taken stock of the people in my life, of how I handled things past and present, and I have realized that people do what they want to do and have their own feelings to contend with, as do I.
Stay with me on this subject. I am working things out, so it might take a few blogs to get to the real rood of my problem. I am determined to get to the bottom of what is holding me back. Please, I ask you to stick with me for two very important reasons.
Number one: Because we have all been there. We have all committed to losing weight only to fail and then try again, and again, and again. I know you understand from where I am coming.
Number two: Because in supporting me, you are supporting you. Every time we encourage one another, every time we have the courage to admit we have a weight problem, and every single time we commit to not ever giving up, we get stronger, more invincible, and more likely to succeed.
So bear with me as I reflect about the issues blocking my road to weight recovery. I need help. We all know what’s that like. Thanks for putting up with this poster-child wannabe.
Until we meet again, this is Linda Misleh Wagner, future former fatty.