Are you afraid of success? I ask myself this question all the time. Is fear of success behind my not working to lose weight? I wonder.
I am so sick of excuses, but the truth is I can’t seem to want to stick to my program. Why not, I ask myself. I am capable of achieving so many things. Everything I have set my mind to do, I have done. Except losing weight. Where is the blockage coming from?
Am I afraid that if I lose weight I will have to work too hard to keep it off? I have always struggled. I lose weight. I do great. Then within a short period of time I am gaining the weight back, going back to old habits, and hating what I am doing to my body.
Am I afraid that if I lost weight then people would notice me in a different way? Am I different when I am thin versus when I am fat? I know it sounds stupid, but it’s not. Expectations and perceptions are different when you are thin than when you are fat.
Am I too lazy to lose weight and stick to a plan? No, I’m not lazy about anything in my life.
So what is holding me back? Am I more comfortable with who I am, and how others see me with weight on versus with weight off? Maybe. I have been overweight most of my life. It is what I know.
Would success at losing weight change things in my life? Yes, it would. I have written a book, Confessions of a True Fatty, admitting to the whole world the things I have done just to eat badly. Why would I admit to the world my degrading binge eating habits if I did not want them to change?
The answer is, I want to change. I want to lose weight and be successful. I want to inspire others to do the same. I want to bring to the forefront the anguish of binge eating, and I want to prove to the world that fatties are not defined by their weight. This really matters to me on such a deep level.
I believe in Aaron’s program. I know I can do it. I need to stop thinking about it so much and just live it. One day at a time. One second at a time if need be. I need to stop worrying about achieving my goal and just live the life I want to live and eat the way I know I should be eating.
Living the program and accomplishing my promises each day, day after day, will lead to my success and yours too. That is all we need to focus on. I guess I have felt so much pressure to succeed that I have failed myself. My husband always tells me I overthink. He says, “Linda, stop thinking so much!” He’s right. Live in the moment, right now. Enjoy the moment right now. Success will come naturally, and will feel like it was always a part of us if we build that success one moment at a time.
Until we meet again, this is Linda Misleh Wagner, Future Former Fatty.