Okay, I bragged how well I avoided weight gain over the holidays. Since, I have gained ten pounds. I am so frustrated with myself. I was down twenty-two pounds, and now back up ten. It’s like I could not stop myself from binge eating.
Finally, the cyclone of mindful binging has stopped. I got on the scale and saw I hit that ten-pound up mark on the scale, and I was so mad at myself. So, it was time to break the binge cycle.
I spent two evenings ago and yesterday reading and rereading and pouring over Aaron’s website UltimateWeightLossRx.com. I reevaluated my approach toward changing my mindset.
It dawned on me that this week Lent began. We are supposed to give up something during lent. I thought on this very careful. What could I give up that would be meaningful, I wondered. Sugar? White flour? Yes, but that was not enough. I am already trying to be sugar free and white flour free. Not enough to keep me from gaining ten pound, but enough to make me appreciate how much better I feel when I stay away from sugar and white flour.
No, for me giving up foods did not signify the right sacrifice. The sacrifice needed to mean something to me. It needed to be important and life changing.
Then it came to me. I needed to give up cheating on my diet. I needed to prove to God and myself that I am worthy and deserving of a healthy body and a healthy mind. The only challenge I could think of was to take charge of my binging and stop. I have to prove to myself that I am not out of control that I’ve taken control, and through prayer and inner fortitude, I am going to get through forty days without cheating, and then afterwards, I will continue on this path.
I went back and reread some of my blogs. It helped me to read and know that I not only owe it to myself to stick to my plan and lose my weight, but I owe it to you, my cyber future former fatty friends. I have to walk the walk. I talk the talk because I am an expert at fighting fat and its frustrations. I have been doing it all my life.
That’s another thing; do I want to go through all this time and trouble to right blogs I believe in and know to be true if I cannot follow my own encouragement? Where will my credibility go? Truthfully, anyone that has tried to lose weight and succeeded only to put it back on understands me, what I am going through with you, and that I truly want to do well, and I want to set a positive example for all of us.
I did great today. Everything I ate today, I chose wisely and well. I did not cheat, nor did I give in to temptation. I am going to lose that ten pounds gained and keep going.
Stick with me. I need support from you, and I hope you feel you can count on me. We can do this together. Let’s help one another.
Until we meet again, this is Linda Misleh Wagner, Future Former Fatty.