My metabolism is shot. I am a snail, slowly gliding along the ground, leaving a slimy trail behind me. Well, not exactly. But sometimes I feel like a snail. And not only is my metabolism shot, it is thoroughly confused. So confused, it has decided to stall.
I have screwed up my metabolism so badly it doesn’t know what to do normally other than to move at a crawl. You know what causes metabolism to practically come to a standstill? Our bad eating and lifestyle habits; they create a confused, sputtering, begging-for-air metabolism.
It’s like my body is being strangled by me, barely able to get the words out, and wanting to scream. If my metabolism could talk, it would shout, “Help me! Eat right! Stop yo-yo dieting! Get the crap foods out of your life! Sugar sucks! White flour is killing me!” If my metabolism could speak, those would be the words it would roar at me.
“Would you please get up off your big fat ass and move? Take a damn walk for goodness sakes! No one is asking you to run a marathon! Just burn a few calories, especially the ones you had no business devouring last night!”
“What the hell’s wrong with you? Can’t you see what you are doing to me! I want to grow old as a healthy metabolism. At this rate, you won’t have to worry about me much longer! Is that what you want?!”
Oh, if my metabolism could talk, it would be hoarse from yelling at me. Is this what I want to do to my poor metabolism? Why am I making my metabolism’s life a living hell?
“Heeeelp me pppppplease. I can barely mooooove. I am being crushed by you.”
Call 911! My metabolism is dying! I need a cure!
“What! You have discovered a cure! Thank you, dear Lord! Thank you!”
“What do I need to do?”
“Oh, that easy? Eat right. Give up sugar and white flour. Okay, what else?”
“Change your mindset. See eating right and the giving up of processed junk foods for healthy fats, lean proteins, and delicious fresh fruits and vegetables is a naturally healthy way to live life. Do these things, and I promise you I will rev up my engine.”
“More energy, better sleep at night, a loss of weight, body fat melting away, and a less foggy brain would be the benefits.”
“Listen, you and I are stuck together. If you feed me good healthy foods, I promise you I will be the best metabolism you will ever find. Deal?”
Don’t you think it is about time we listened to our metabolism? Our bodies crave to be healthy. Our bodies will work well for us if we feed them proper energy foods. Think of it like this: How much do you love your car? How dependent are we on our vehicles? Would we ever put bad gas into our cars? No. Never.
Why do we put bad fuel into our bodies? We require fuel. We need the best highest “octane” fuel money can buy. If we pamper our bodies the way we pamper our cars, we wouldn’t have a weight problem, would we?
Oh, if our metabolism could talk, it would sit us down gently and lovingly, and it would talk to us with care, asking us to please stop confusing it. Stop feeding it poor nourishment. Start taking seriously the needs of our metabolism so it can become a healthy metabolism. In return, our metabolism will give us a healthy body.
This moment, right now, no more excuses, let’s start listening and caring about our metabolism. Let’s put its needs first. By putting its needs first, we put us first. Thanks metabolism for the great conversation. Communication is so important.
Until we meet again, this is Linda Misleh Wagner, Future Former Fatty.