As much as we talk about “What’s for lunch” at our office, we talk just as much about losing weight. We love to eat, but we hate having extra weight on our bodies. Eating and losing weight comes up in our conversations several times a day. Losing weight and talking about losing weight is just as much an obsession or an addiction is binge eating. Never thought about it that way, but really, it is.
One of our hygienists came up with an idea. She encouraged everyone at our office to set monthly goals. She made up a chart with our names on it, and for the next twelve months, we set our own goals. If we reach our goals, we can mark our square any which way to represent our accomplishment.
One of our dental assistants brought in a scale. Everyone weighed themselves and put their weight down in their box. Everyone except me, that is.
I know this is going to sound strange to you, but as honest as I have been with all of you about my weight, my addiction to food, and all else that goes with it, the one thing I cannot bring myself to do is write it down in that box for everyone in my office to see.
Am I embarrassed that I am the heaviest gal in the office, outweighing the doctor and our other male co-worker? A big fat “Yes”! I know it doesn’t make sense, especially since I put it out there all over the Internet, in my blogs, and in my book. I guess the difference is that the cyber world contains friends that may commiserate with me, but they don’t know me personally.
And no one said we have to put down our weights. It’s just what everyone else did. We just have to set a goal and make goal. It could be to lose a few pounds (one of my co-workers aimed for a pound a month). We laughed, and that was okay. A goal is a goal, right?
But, I have to tell you. What struck me as very interesting is everyone’s weight. I don’t consider most of my co-workers to have a weight problem, and those that feel they don’t need to lose weight are still participating because the goal doesn’t necessarily have to do with weight loss. It could be about exercising more. Whatever each individual’s choice is what matters. Yet, what surprised me the most is I thought everyone was a lot lighter than they actually weighed in at.
What’s great about that is it let me know that I don’t have to get super skinny to look great. Several of the women weighed between one hundred forty to one hundred and sixty-five pounds. Even the heavier ladies look awesome. Knowing this gives me hope that I can reach reasonable weights and still look great. In my head, I thought I needed to get down to a weight fewer than one hundred thirty to one hundred thirty-five pounds to look nice and healthy. We think we need to be super skinny to look nice. It’s nice to know that is not true.
This also tells me that I have a misconstrued idea of what women should weigh in order to be presentable. I used to think I was still a bit fat when I was in high school and college weighing one hundred forty-two pounds. Now, I think I would not only look fabulous, but I would give anything to get anywhere within twenty-five pounds of that number.
We are so hard on ourselves, and our expectations of what is perfect, is so off the mark. Besides, let’s be honest, even if we got down to a weight we considered perfect, we would find something else to gripe about when it comes to our bodies. We really need to appreciate our bodies, no matter the shape and size. Our bodies are amazing.
I am proud of my office for being gung-ho for our health. I commend my co-workers for their bravery in being honest with their weight. No matter the weight, most of us hate to admit the true number to anyone. Mostly, I appreciate all the support and encouragement each of us gives to one another. Wish us well.
Until we meet again, this is Linda Misleh Wagner, Future Former Fatty.