Don’t be desperate and dumb when it comes to weight loss. Sometimes we desire so badly to lose weight, and we want to lose weight quickly. But in those times of desperation, we are not in our right mind. We become vulnerable especially to weight loss gimmicks.
There have been times, when I have been awake at one, two, and three a.m., I cannot sleep, and I am just sick of myself. I come into my living room and turn on the television. Of course, as I channel surf looking for something to watch that I might enjoy but that may put me back to sleep, I come across an infomercial about weight loss.
Mind you, one of the reasons I can’t sleep is because my mind never stops.Often, I’m thinking about problems within the family, or things I have to remember to do. Mostly, I am thinking about how badly I need to lose weight, and what the heck it is going to take to get me to seriously stick to a program and not let anything get in my way.
I am so vulnerable at this point that I become desperate, which ultimately leads me to be a dumbass and succumb to the promises of the infomercial. I grab my wallet, pull out my favorite credit card, and start dialing the phone. Of course, I want to be one of the first fifty callers so I get the free and fast shipping deal and the three free gifts.
The call is made. The super-friendly person on the other end of the line answers ready to help me place my order. Her voice is velvety smooth. I can almost hear her whispering sublimely, “Buy this product and you will lose weight. Buy this product, and you will lose weight.” In that moment I believe her! I do! I do!
With the order placed, I spend another eternity, or so it feels, saying the word “no” to all the “special offers” made by this goddess trying to help me to slimness including the offer of a fifty dollar Wal-Mart card just for trying some product that I will never use for three months. I just have to remember to call and cancel at the end of three months or I am on the hook for fifty-nine ninety-five a month charged automatically to my credit card.
I hang up the phone. I feel a surge of excitement rush through me. This will do it! I just know it! God, I hope it gets here sooner than five to ten business days. I want to start right now! I feel just a tinier bit thinner just making the purchase.
Everyday I look for the package in the mail. The images of all these once really obese people rush through my mind. They all stuck with this program and look at their results. I am going to be one of those people. I might even make an infomercial endorsing their product.
Finally the package arrives. I can’t wait to get home from work and open it.
I rip open the package. The first thing I notice is the three free gifts just for being one of the first fifty callers. The three gifts, valued at sixty dollars, look like something I could have bought at the dollar store. Big whoop.
I take the program out of the package. There are booklets and cards and a DVD to watch. I start scrutinizing every page of each booklet, and then I settle in to watch the DVD. The program is far more complicated and far more limiting than I was led to believe. The advertisement made it sound like I could eat pizza, cheeseburgers, and ice cream and lose weight! Not quite.
After understanding the program, I realize that this program is not the miracle program that I thought. I was not going lose a hundred pounds in a few months any faster than with any other program. The aha moment arrives. There is no magic program.
Once again it begins to sink in. The reality is if I want to lose weight, I have to commit. I have to work at it and make a concerted effort with dedication, patience, and perseverance. I have to make small changes to be rewarded with huge results.
Don’t be desperate and dumb to lose weight. I am an expert at it. I am also expert enough to tell you it doesn’t work. And for God’s sake, don’t watch those evil infomercials late at night. They will do you in.
Until we meet again, this is Linda Misleh Wagner, Future Former Fatty.