Having extra weight on us is so not worth it! I vowed that once I got the weight off I would keep it off. Did I? Well, yeah much of it. But not nearly enough!
Four years ago I went to Disneyland. I had such a great time. I could fit in all the rides. I could walk around all day long and still feel great. Nothing hurt, and I felt like a kid, young and able to do anything.
Now four years later and one hundred pounds fatter I went to Disneyland Saturday to celebrate my stepdaughter’s birthday. It should have been a day I would have been absolutely looking forward to, but no, I was partly excited and partly dreading the day.
You see, at one hundred pounds heavier, and out of shape, and with an injured back to protect, I was terrified I wouldn’t make it through the day. With all the walking involved, I worried my ankles would be hurting me for days. I was afraid I wouldn’t fit into the rides. I was afraid my fat body would not hold up.
Do you see what I am saying? My weight was getting in the way of a day that would have normally been wonderful if it wasn’t for all the anxiety created by being fat. What a kick in the arse?
Here I tell us we have to lose weight so that we don’t sit on the sidelines of life, so we can enjoy everything we want to do and should physically be able to do, and what have I done? Not lose the weight I have gained.
Sounds hypocritical, doesn’t it? It’s not. This dilemma of fighting obesity, talking the talk but not walking the walk, or walking the walk absolutely, is all part of our addicion to food and binge eating.
I am so angry with myself. I actually pity me for being so stupid. I’m not being hard on myself. I am simply telling it like it is.
I don’t want to be fat any more! I hate my body getting in the way of my life and the way I want to lead my life! How about you? Aren’t you sick of your excess fattage? I am!
I looked at other people my age, some with their grandchildren, and all I could think about was how badly I wished I could bring my grandchildren to Disneyland, ride the rides with them, and spoil them with all the cool gifts in the gift stores. Then, the thought would be followed by this somber thought; I would probably be
dead on my feet by then end of the day, and what should have been a wonderful day, instead would be spoiled for me because I would hate myself for being out of shape.
I came home that evening and went to bed. I was in pain because I had injured my leg trying to get off one of the rides too quickly. I ended up slamming my thigh and shin into the mechanical edge of the ride causing a lump the size of a girl’s softball and major bruising up and down my leg. All because I am out of shape and carrying too much excess weight.
The next day, I got onto Aaron’s site, read a lot about my triggers and emotional eating, and I went to my self-promise worksheet and re-did my promises. That’s it! No more excuses! I want to write to you as a former fatty at some point, not as a future former fatty.
Hell, if I don’t get on with taking better care of myself, I will become a former fatty after I am dead. That is not what I want at all!
We all need to stop letting a day, then days, then months and so on go by and not accomplish our goal to get healthy and get rid of excess weight.
We can do this! Let’s not let our weight come between us and the life we desire! Next time I go to Disneyland, it won’t matter how old I am because I intend to get this body into such good shape that my age won’t matter. I never want to worry about my weight getting in my way of having fun.
Until we meet again, this is Linda Misleh Wagner, Future Former Fatty.