Be gone ghosts of Christmas past. Be gone ghosts within my mind. I am letting you go for good.
Living with the past can haunt you. It can take away what is good in today pulling you into the drudgery and pain of the past. We have to let these ghosts go if we are to live life we want.
I have been known to live in the would’ve-should’ve-could’ve world. You know what I mean. If only I would’ve done …this way. Or I should’ve done … this way, and let’s not forget the if only I could’ve done this….this way, everything would’ve been right in my life.
I’m here to tell you bull crap! We do the best we can with what we know at the time. Life is about learning, and screwing up, and learning to fix things, and doing better the next time. It is what puts the value in the moments of our lives. No life goes by unscathed.
In our minds we allow ghosts of mistakes sometimes overtake our life. We are filled with guilt and disappointment in ourselves. This only serves to keep us chained to the past, which we cannot change.
Instead, release those invisible shackles weighing you down, rattling your brain with negativity. It serves you no purpose to continue to allow these demons to wreak havoc with your sanity pulling you down into the depths of depression.
“Depression is unspoken anger”. I read this on a sign in the ladies room at a restaurant. It’s true. When we sink into depression it is because deep down inside we are angry at a situation we feel is out of control, and we don’t know how to fix it or stand up for ourselves. We are frustrated and feel our inner spirit is castrated.
Let it go! Learn from whatever is holding you back in the past and don’t make the same mistakes in the future. Let it go!
I once told someone close to me who seemed to be living in the past to the point that it was holding this person back in so many ways. This person was having bad dreams when asleep, and couldn’t stop talking about the past when awake. I told this person that life brings us situations that are beyond our control. At the time, we just don’t know how to handle things. When it is over, it can be hard to
let it go. I suggested to this person to take the past and put it into the “kitchen junk drawer” of this person’s mind.
When asked what that meant, I said we all have a drawer in our kitchen that we toss things into. Every day odds and ends that for some reason we feel the need to hold onto and are not ready to let go of. Then there comes a time when it is time to clean out the junk drawer. You go through the odds and ends. Some things you toss in the garbage without another thought. You may wonder why you held onto it in the first place. At that moment, you realize you no longer need it.
Other things you tuck away back into the junk drawer. You don’t quantify your reason for keeping it; you just know you are not quite ready to toss it into the garbage and forget about it forever. A few years later, you will revisit the drawer and clean it out again. Sooner or later new junk replaces old junk. The old junk fades away.
This is what we need to do with the ghosts of our past. Some we have to throw into the garbage and forget about it. Everything you have been through has brought you to this moment to let it go. Other things can go to the “junk drawer” of your mind to be forgotten for now, and occasionally revisited, and then let go of when you are ready, but these items once in the junk drawer do not hinder your life. Like the items in your kitchen junk drawer that you never think about until you need to either use or throw away, is the same for the ghosts of the past in your mind.
Let with this New Year that you clean out your mental junk drawer. No longer allow the past to hold you back and keep you down. If you only knew that I write these words for myself as I do for you. Let’s agree to not hold us back with a past that cannot be changed, and a future to learn and make new mistakes to learn from.
Until we meet again, this is Linda Misleh Wagner, Future Former Fatty.