It’s that time of the year again. You know, the holidays. Which means, there will be all the food we claim we don’t want to shove down our throat because it will only make us fat, when deep down inside, we wish we could be left alone to devour every disgusting morsel. Which creates another holiday problem. Well, yes weight gain, but that is not what I am referring to.
Another huge holiday hooray we all can’t wait to experience is travelling. Let’s face it. Holiday traveling sucks. Traveling even sucks worse when you are fat. Especially, air traveling.
Let’s break it down. First, you spend weeks, maybe even months preparing for the trip. You look for tickets to purchase. Then once you get the tickets, you arrange and pick your seat on the airplane. This one decision in our future former fatty world is a monumental decision.
Middle seat, no way! Window seat or aisle seat. Which one, which one? If you pick the window seat then you might be able to turn your body inward a bit to have your girth slightly absorbed into the space between the window and the seat. It’s not much, but it might be enough.
The downside besides the fact the little space may not be enough, is that if you have to get up to use the restroom, you have to make the other two people next to you get up. You already know they are not too happy with you for taking up more space than they are willing to share.
Now the aisle seat, well that’s my personal preference. You have extra airspace to lean into because you are on the aisle. And if you are really huge, if you fold your arms inward across your chest, you will take up even less space. This also helps avoid being banged in the elbow by the drink cart.
Should you have to get up to use the restroom, you don’t disturb the person sitting next to you. Although, the person in front may not like you so much when you grab onto the back of his seat to gain leverage to pull your fatty self up.
My suggestion? Make sure you use the restroom before you get on the plane so you don’t have to get up to go. Also, don’t drink too much while on the plane. Dehydration shrinks you.
Another selling point for the aisle seat, is when you land, everyone around you can’t wait for you to get up and get out of his or her way. If you should have trouble getting up fast enough, do yourself a favor and opt for an aisle seat in the back of the airplane. This way you avoid dirty stares from other passengers for holding them up while you struggle to pry yourself out of your seat.
There is one more thing to keep in mind. If you are praying for weeks before the trip “God, please don’t let my ass get stuck in the seat”, then I suggest you start on Aaron’s program well in advance. This way you won’t have to worry at all about holiday traveling.
Until we meet again, this is Linda Misleh Wagner, Future Former Fatty.
Tagged Control Cravings