We think we know what we need to do to make the changes in our lives, but until we delve really deep within ourselves, we don’t have a clue. Or I didn’t until now.
All this time, in regards to changing my mindset, I thought the changes I needed to make were related more to my relationship with food. You know how much I love food, and you know how much I have abused my body with food. The epiphany that has come to me, though, is food is not my enemy.
The real culprit behind addiction to food is more about the relationship with have with us. Talking the talk is easy. Hearing what we need to do is easy. Really comprehending the responsibility of having a healthy body and a healthy relationship starts with taking responsibility to have a healthy mind and outlook.
I am always so upbeat and positive most days. Most people would say I am always happy. I am for the most part. But, I am restless with myself. This comes from not having a deep serious commitment to a relationship with myself.
It begins by allowing one’s self to acknowledge feelings we may not want to accept. It moves forward into allowing ourselves to feel those feelings. Progression is when we own these feelings without apology. Acceptance for who we are is usually easy. Allowing ourselves to live our lives by meeting our needs first before we put others first is far more difficult.
I know we have talked a lot about boundaries. This is even deeper than that. Living an authentic life is living life the way we want assertively and without feeling the need to apologize for that life.
There comes a time when we are at a fork in the road, forced to choose a journey. The question before you is this journey the journey of our choosing or the journey we feel others may think best for us? It is not to say that the choice to live in service or care of others, putting their needs before our own, is not an authentic life if it is the life you truly desire. But if there is no balance, if our needs are not meant, then we will find ways to sustain the ideal of that life regardless of its consequences such as abuse of food, alcohol, drugs, and other addictions.
This time taken to heal my back put into perspective that the mindset I thought I needed to change was all about my relationship to food. I now know that the mindset I need to change is to not be afraid to feel guilty for putting myself first. Guilt is an emotion that keeps our conscience on the straight and narrow. We need to learn to feel all emotions and learn to push through them to live the most authentic life we are meant to live.
If you set a boundary, then allow that boundary to be crossed, then feel guilty for allowing that boundary to be crossed, eating is not going to change the reason behind your guilt. Acknowledgement and respecting those feelings, and then making the changes you need to make will not only help you to live an authentic life being true to thy self, but even more importantly, you will not empower addiction, especially to something as wonderful as food.
Examine what is really ailing your soul. Is your problem that you are overweight because you have an addiction to food, or do you have an addiction to food because you do not let yourself feel, acknowledge, and react appropriately to your feelings? I venture that is probably the real problem for most of us. This is where we need to redirect the course of mindset adjustment. Until we meet again, this is Linda Misleh Wagner, Future Former Fatty.
Tagged Control Cravings